Clearly Thinking

82116 We have to get clear in our present life, we have to be honest with ourselves and those around us.  We can never move forward until we clear the junk from our past. When you are laying in bed trying to relax, how many voices and people are in there with you? When you are thinking about making a move forward in your life that you should have made years ago, what scary memories or fears are there that begin creating barriers?  Those  negative voices need to be silenced, and now. Clear out all of those doubts and fears. Let the past be the past. It’s time. You need some breathing room to think. Create some clear space and then you will know exactly what to do. See how I changed my life, read my story, simply click on the image.

81816Ever hear the saying “change the way you look at things and things you look at change”?   This quote carries so much truth and I want to share with you how knowing this and practicing it can change your life.  Throughout our lifetime, we will make mistakes. We’ll accidentally take the wrong turn, maybe say the wrong thing or do something we weren’t supposed to. Mistakes are a part of life. No one is perfect and everybody makes them. But sometimes we dwell on these mistakes. We let them control our thoughts and perceptions of who we are. We let them define our worthiness and we feel like failures.  Mistakes do not define who we are. If we change the way we think about our mistakes, they can actually help us in our self-growth and change our lives. Let’s start thinking about our mistakes as lessons. Not lessons that put us down or make us feel bad about ourselves, but a lesson to see how we can improve upon our life or what we can learn to become better human beings during our time on earth. It’s good to be constantly growing, so our mistakes, no matter how big or small, can help us do this. I want you to start thinking of these as positive experiences.  In any situation where you feel you made a mistake, think about what you can learn about it and change for next time. That thought right there is a move forward in life; a personal growth step. We cannot succeed in life without failing a little bit first. We have to keep trying until we make it. So when we start thinking of our failures as small successes in the right direction of where we want to be, our outlook on life changes. We become more confident and positive things constantly begin to take place.  We are in charge of creating our own happiness. So the sooner we start looking at things in a positive way the sooner we can be glowing with happiness. Please don’t hold on to past mistakes. Take a second, learn from the lesson, smile and go forward.  Life is a continuous chance to learn and make progress. And that is what makes it fun! Forgive yourself and others, but don’t forget. Learn from your mistakes, but don’t regret. Your mindset is at the heart of your success.  Keeping You Empowered…. Darlene

See how I changed my life by changing my thoughts, read my book, simply click on the image.

Our Mistakes are Opportunities for Growth

Why We Make Bad Decisions








We are all faced with challenges that require making difficult decisions. How we meet our challenges makes all the difference in the how things will unfold. We as humans have the ability to learn and change.  We react to challenges and situations coming from two places, a place of fear or a place of love.  We as humans can create our reality by choosing which of these two places our decision making will come from.  We normally react to situations and problems from an unconscious state, fear based.  But if we can become more conscious of our reactions, pausing and reflecting, we can move from a reactionary state to one of love.  Fear based emotions, anxiety, stress, fear, can distort our decision making, moving us to react from a fear-based state of unconsciousness.  So how do we train our minds so that we become more responsive and less reactive to life’s challenges?

  • Become aware of your emotions.  If you are feeling upset, angry, disappointed, etc., that is a good sign to remove yourself from reacting.  Living authentically means expressing your actual feelings, thoughts and desires, but we need to do this from a state of love, not reactionary based upon the emotions that have upset you.  When fear based emotions arise, that is a good indicator that you may need to step back and try looking at the situation from a different perspective, allowing you to make a decision that is coming from a place of love.
  • To prevent fear from stopping us in our tracks, we need to learn to relax our bodies, deepen our breathing, open up to feeling. Feel rather than think about your fear. Feelings of stress are generally rooted in a fear of an imagined physical or emotional threat (not being able to meet a deadline, or fear of failure, for instance), and stress can contribute to negative feelings like depression & anxiety that in turn can contribute to fear-based thinking.  Find ways like exercise and meditation to lower your stress levels and breathing techniques to calm down the nervous system.

The key to managing your challenges in life, is to learn to become more responsive to life and less reactionary.

See how I changed my life by changing my thoughts, read my book, simply click on the image.


Send Loving Energy






Spend as little time as possible with people who drag down your energy. It’s vital to safeguard your own vibrational frequency as much as you can.  However, when you are alone and in a good state mentally and emotionally, imagine sending those difficult people the high, pure energy of love and forgiveness.  Imagine this energy soaking into them, uplifting them, helping them to become happier, lighter, and more abundant.

See how I changed my life by changing my thoughts, read my book $11.99, simply click on the image.





This is from my book, the chapter “Garden of Zen”.

The one thing most of us struggle with in life, is our thoughts and how they create unnecessary suffering, anger, resentment and jealousy. Zen has helped me to understand that with the ability to recognize our thoughts and how they affect our emotions, we can transform our lives to live in a very positive, peaceful manner.  A state of inner peace. When troubling thoughts or situations arise that are creating a difficult emotion, I pause and mentally ask myself: 1) Do I own this situation (meaning did I create it),  2) What, can I do to eliminate the thought or situation? If I don’t own the situation, I refuse to be a part of it. Eliminating the thought or situation involves acknowledging it, address it if necessary or let it go. Addressing any situation involves open minded parties that can express their points of view without having to be right or having to place blame. These two questions I ask myself are based on our everyday interactions with people that create frustration, anger, resentment, jealousy, etc.; and are not intended for major occurrences in our lives such as death, physical injury, life-threatening, etc.

See how I changed my life by changing my thoughts, read my book $11.99, simply click on the image.

Garden of Zen

Little Things To Brighten Someone’s Day


There are always ways to can brighten another’s day if we choose to!  Start your day with an attitude of making someone else’s day a little easier.  Here are some ideas.

  1. Compliment a Stranger.
  2. Let someone go ahead of you in traffic – hey – maybe all day long!
  3. Pay for the coffee of the person in line behind you…. without looking to see who they are!
  4. Save your quarters and pay for someone’s parking.
  5. Write someone a sweet note – anonymously or not.
  6. Help someone with something they may not be able to afford in the grocery store.
  7. Take in your neighbors trash cans.
  8. Donate blood.
  9. Offer your seat to someone when there aren’t any left.
  10. Pick up liter everywhere you go.

Choose to have an attitude that sets an example for others to do better.  We are all in this world together, so let’s start touching each others lives more and change humanity.

My book is available now, read my story and see how I changed my life by changing my thoughts $11.99, simply click on the image.

Finding Your Authentic Power


What is your authentic power?  

It is your inner knowing and inner guidance that allow you to perceive the world from a place of love and trust.  People with true authentic power do not judge, criticize or blame anyone or anything else for their emotions, experiences or circumstances. How powerful is that? They take full responsibility for their inner state whether good or bad, as a result of the way they perceive and process life. They choose to see every life experience and emotion as an opportunity to learn something about themselves. When you discover your authentic power, you look within for your source of worthiness, love and security and thus your external reality becomes a reflection of truth, love and trust.

The Opposite of Authentic Power

Those who lack authentic power seek fulfillment from the external world. Lack of authentic power needs continuous validation for what and who they are from external sources. They only feel worthy, secure and loved with validation. These individuals seek fulfillment in life through material possessions and need approval from others to feel successful or needing another’s love to feel worthy. These individuals see themselves as superior to others. The difficulty in living a life of fulfillment through external possessions is that you are never fulfilled. They are in a state of being that is eternally seeking. They have given their power away, because they have placed their power in the hands of things, people and circumstances, believing this will make them happy. Most all of us have been conditioned to seek external power for their happiness and fulfillment. “If I get that job.” “When I get that car.” “When I have this much money in the bank.” “If I can lose 10 pounds.” Are you starting to see the picture? It boils down to looking outside of ourselves to feel worthy, secure and loved. Those who are seeking external power are filling a void of insecurity.

Healing the Perpetual Insecurity

Humanity needs for all of us to become aware of these patterns in order that we can heal the insecurities or deeply embedded false beliefs. It takes courage to go within and find the sources of your pain and suffering. It means being honest with yourself and those involved in your life. Once we are able to take that first step, we can begin to break down the walls to face our fears and insecurities so we can begin to live a truly empowered life with unconditional love and real happiness.

The Path to Authentic Power

The first step to Authentic Power is the willingness to heal those deeply rooted insecurities and fears. It is about learning to master our emotions and taking responsibility for our lives, no blaming.  Authentic Power will Set You Free!

This is a chapter from my book.  There is no obstacle in life that you cannot get passed with the right mindset.  Read my story and discover my path.  Simply click on the image below.

The Right Spirit


Having a joyful and willing spirit is the right spirit. It is not always seeking something to attain happiness, rather this spirit is content regardless of the frustrations of life and remains steadfast, immovable, firm, constant and unshakable.  People communicate in three ways, through their words, their gestures, and their spirit. Our spirit reveals itself in everything we do. What does the right spirit encompass? It encompasses our thoughts, feelings and choices. The spirit behind what we do and think is our moral fiber. Our attitudes and motivations are good indicators of our spirit. The right spirit reveals strength and courage during difficult times. When we are thinking and acting with anger, resentment, we are not in the right spirit.

How to Identify Unconscious Beliefs

72116The Law of Attraction states that you will attract to yourself those experiences that match your beliefs. These beliefs create your experience of reality. What if these beliefs are in opposition to what you’re actually trying to accomplish? What if they no longer serve you? Wouldn’t it be useful to eliminate these limiting beliefs?

Part of “knowing yourself” is understanding your beliefs. The difficulty is that most beliefs are subconscious. They have been accepted without ever having been critically examined.  After all, most people have accepted these beliefs as true and don’t want to hear anything that might contradict what they believe is true. Remember, you are not your beliefs. You are a divine spiritual being, so why hold onto anything that is preventing you from realizing this truth? So here’s the secret.

Look around. Whenever you have a repeating problem in some area of your life, then that is where you have a false or limiting belief. This doesn’t mean that just because you’re in between relationships or jobs, you necessarily have a false belief. But if the problem constantly reappears, then you can be 99% certain a false belief is involved. Avoid the temptation to blame someone for inserting this false belief into your belief system. After all, you could easily point fingers at your parents, teachers, friends, TV, etc., as well as yourself. It’s not important where it came from, you just want to be rid of it, so you can experience your ideal life.

You have two choices here. You can 1) identify your unconscious beliefs and release them, or 2) learn to recognize the symptoms of accepting this limiting belief and change your thoughts. You can also do a combination of the two.

Choice 1) – identify your unconscious beliefs and release them
Your attitudes will help you to identify your false beliefs. Let’s say you want more money. What is your impression of wealthy people? Are you happy for them or resentful? If you’re resentful, then what signal do you think you’re sending out to the universe? You don’t want anything to do with those “rich people!” Consequently, the Law of Attraction states that you won’t attract wealth into your life.One way to free yourself of a negative belief is to write it on a piece of paper and burn it while telling yourself it is forever banished from your being. Write a positive affirmation on another piece of paper such as “Good people can have money.” You can add other affirmations, such as “I am worthy of prosperity” and “Money flows easily to me.” Repeat these affirmations aloud 9 times a day for 21 days. This is the length of time it takes to reprogram your instinctive mind, where these beliefs are stored.Choice 2) – learn to recognize the symptoms of accepting a limiting belief
Recognize that your goal is make sure that you are always sending out the proper vibration so that you attract to yourself the experience you desire. The best barometer of whether you are sending out the proper signals is to MONITOR YOUR EMOTIONS. If you’re not feeling good, then you need to change your thoughts, because the emotions that are being felt, indicate your thoughts are sending the wrong message. Incidentally, this process of substituting thoughts will work for any thought, including a memory. If you have any unpleasant memories, you can substitute imagined positive experiences for them. Mystics call this Mental Alchemy, after the old alchemists that transformed lead into gold. Eventually, you’ll get to feel joy more and more frequently and for longer periods of time.

In both cases, you have substituted positive thoughts and feelings for negative ones. You may recognize this involves a degree of self-observation.

See how I changed my life by changing my thoughts, read my book, simply click on the image.

Starting Is The Hardest Part

courageStarting something new is almost always intimidating and frightening (or at least unnerving), isn’t it? Many a great ideas or projects have been put off because a person didn’t know how or where to begin, or they were too afraid to begin.  I have learned throughout my life that the start is literally the hardest part!

Once you take that first step and just get moving in the direction you want to go, every subsequent step after the first becomes easier, and easier, and easier…until you are fairly sprinting along toward the completion of your goal.

Whatever you wish to accomplish in your life, be willing to at least get started. Focus ONLY on the first step. Once that step is taken, focus on the next step. And then the next.

That is the simplest, easiest, and quickest way to achieve any goal.

Often times addressing deeper truths require outside assistance to gain new angles that resolve out the internal conflict a person is holding. I teach you how to release judgments that hold you back and then flare up later to diminish you. Are you struggling with something in your life?  Interested in working with me to get through it?  Learn more about my coaching